yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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