just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
