He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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