I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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