the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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