I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
