Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize