Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i now understand why vodka
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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