I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
