She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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