i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
