...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
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