Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize