I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
