her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
this is an emotional support booty call
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
