I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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