I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
