I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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