Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
