Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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