It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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