just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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