it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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