my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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