I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize