Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
