I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
