my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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