i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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