You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize