I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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