I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
