They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
