the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
