Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
