Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.

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  (859): Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. http://tfl.nu/z5bn
  Replies (11) Good night (1097) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2632) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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  (330): She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker http://tfl.nu/3dfg
  Replies (36) Good night (846) Bad night (5338)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

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  (832): Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house. http://tfl.nu/g0ik
  Replies (13) Good night (7363) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras

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  (818): I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras http://tfl.nu/7rs3
  Replies (16) Good night (5689) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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  (602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38
  Replies (16) Good night (6583) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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  (309): I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time (1-309): I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating http://tfl.nu/74eg
  Replies (21) Good night (5039) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.

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  (765): I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/m09q
  Replies (25) Good night (4151) Bad night (2679)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??

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  (314): DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT?? http://tfl.nu/2vmn
  Replies (13) Good night (5931) Bad night (1898)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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  (347): I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time. http://tfl.nu/7l8h
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (2105)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?

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  (512): Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning? http://tfl.nu/pcyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.

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  (951): diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me. http://tfl.nu/ieik
  Replies (12) Good night (3123) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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  (479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny
  Replies (6) Good night (904) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.

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  (508): Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me. http://tfl.nu/wz8g
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

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  (317): Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer http://tfl.nu/bezk
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (288)

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