they're staring at me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.