During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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