My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
