I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize