what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
