Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
