I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
