i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize