went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
