a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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