where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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