Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
