I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
