how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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