so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
