Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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