I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
