i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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