It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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