Fuck appropriateness.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i need some magic done to my vagina
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
