I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is my gift to your gina
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
