my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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