i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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