Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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